


I Don't Know What I Expected

by mercurialMalcontent



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-29
Updated: 2013-07-29
Packaged: 2017-12-21 19:18:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/903893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercurialMalcontent/pseuds/mercurialMalcontent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I kind of... accidentally fantasized about Karkat while we were doing it. Which I do sometimes, not when we're messing around, just like-- uh, fuck, look, I'm--"</p>
<p>Terezi puts a finger over your lips and you stammer to a stop. She nestles closer and sighs happily. "You too, huh?"</p>
<p>You stare at the ceiling in bewilderment. Whatever response you were expecting, that was not it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

This is the first time you've ever done this, you and Terezi. You'd called it 'the full sex' in your best deadpan and she rewarded you with peals of laughter. But for all she's jerked you off and you've fingered her and come to terms with the fact that your hot alien girlfriend not only has a sweet pussy but a wiggling dick that spurts teal jizz when she gets off (and moreover that you like dicks way more than you thought you did), this is the first time you've ever gone as far as sticking junk into other junk.

She'd had to find out, first, if it'd work, if your dick and her nook were compatible, and earlier today she'd swarmed into your lap and licked you and whispered, "It'll work." She'd grinned big as your breath caught and continued, "Do you want to know how I found out?"

The possibilities raced through your mind, and the number of them that involved Rose was way too high. "No," you said firmly.

"Liar," she had said sweetly, and kissed you.

A trail of discarded clothes from the door to your bed later, you're lying here bare-ass naked, not even your shades, and watching Terezi wriggling her way out of her underwear as excruciatingly slowly as possible and giving you a good view of her own bare ass, as well as the lips of her teal-flushed nook. You make an impatient sound despite yourself and she just leers at you over her shoulder.

When she kicks her panties away and turns you see she's just as ready as you are, her cute alien dick unsheathed and squirming eagerly, and just as nervous, her hands shaking as she climbs up on the bed. "Doing okay, TZ?" you ask, trying for smooth and landing squarely in "holy shit did my voice actually crack, when did I revert back to 13" land.

Terezi laughs, breathlessly, almost a nervous giggle. "I'm fine! Stop squirming." You're not squirming -- not much -- but you try to be as still as you can as she gives your hips quick, featherlight touches before she swings a leg over, straddling them, so close but not close enough to your raging hard-on.

She shifts, frowns, and shifts again before grimacing at you. "All right, I'll admit it, I don't know what to do here."

"You just kind of." You stop, try to remember porn, have the irritating realization that it was all from the wrong angle. "Like, impale yourself on my dick." Terezi bursts out laughing and you sigh. "C'mon babe, this isn't doing anything for my poor fragile manhood."

She sticks her tongue out at you. "Poor fragile my ass! Maybe if you lift it up."

You sigh again, pretending being put upon to cover a renewed surge of nerves, and reach between her legs to get ahold of your cock and angle it up toward her. Terezi wriggles, rubs against it, and your breath catches. "Jesus fuck, do that again."

Terezi snickers. "Liked that, hmm? Like-- ah." Her breath catches, this time, and her eyelids flutter. "Ah. Ah. Ahh--!"

She sinks down onto you and traps your hand a little. You have a bit of trouble pulling it out from under her because between her squeaks and the feeling of being inside her, your eyes have crossed and your fucking soul has caught fire. You're going to explode if you don't take some deep breaths and count to ten.

She makes another little noise and you collect yourself enough to pet awkwardly at her thighs. "You're, uh. Okay?"

"Just-- mmh-- great," Terezi breathes, and does this wiggle with her hips that makes your eyes cross again. "You...?"

You look her over and lick your lips. "I've got my own piece of slick wet heaven bouncing on my dick and jiggling her tits, so I gotta say I'm pretty goddamned good."

She snickers. "You're pretty crude is what you are." She wiggles again and laughs at the whine that escapes you. "Now what do I have to do to get this ride started?"

You're about to give Terezi some sassy answer when she squeezes your dick. You gasp and your hips jerk upward. She giggles at you and oh god it's like that squeeze times a million the way it makes her tremble around you, and you have to tense every muscle in your body to keep from coming right then. "That," you manage to gasp out. "Do that." 

She furrows her brow and says hmm in a way that implies she thinks you're up to something. You buck your hips upward and that hmm turns into aaah and yeah that's enough talking now. 

It takes a while for you and her to get synched up, you want to buck your hips up and she's just kind of wiggling around and neither of you know what the hell you're doing, but after a few minutes of squirming and laughing at each other you figure out it well enough for it to steal any other thoughts away. It's all in the rhythm, like music, like your heartbeat, a DNA-level metronome that keeps your hips rolling steadily even as you're consumed with want.

Terezi's so gorgeous on top of you, tiny squeaks escaping parted lips and cute little tits bouncing and tentacle dick writhing on your stomach, god, as if having her around you wasn't hot enough as it is. You run shaky hands up her thighs and cup her tits and she breathes a moan that makes you have to tense up again. You want her to go off first, you want to feel her shaking and fluttering around you, you want...

You want...

She groans and fists her bulge and you feel it all in a rush, that yeah, okay, you want her to squirt all over you, you want it bad, you want it in the way a person wants something when they can only allow themselves to think about it briefly, guiltily, in the privacy of their room very late at night, about people who are very definitely not their girlfriend. But this isn't guilty, this is awesome because it's Terezi and she's riding you like you were the Pony Express and she has the pardon from the governer going to the wait, fuck, that metaphor got away from you--

"Harder," Terezi pleads.

You grab her hips and move yours harder. Terezi throws back her head and yelps out cries, high and sweet, as she works her dick for dear life, until suddenly she shrieks and quakes and paints you teal from navel to fucking cheekbone, holy shit. 

You whine and buck as fast as you can, all your defenses thrown off as you race for that cliff, and those guilty late night fantasies come back to you in a shape you haven't tried. A thicker, heavier frame riding your dick, a lower voice cracking on moans, coming apart, painting you red--

You erupt like Vesuvius in a molten rush of ecstasy and hot guilt, and scream like the doomed of Pompeii.

When your eyes finally focus again you notice Terezi smiling dreamily and tracing lines in the blue she painted you with. "Teal is a good smell on you," she teases.

"Ugh, gross," you say, but when she giggles you're just glad she didn't smell your embarrassment.

It niggles at you, though, all through post coital stupid jokes and cleaning up. The inside of your own head is private, you get to think whatever you want, but you can't help but feel it's some kind of faux pas to get off to the thought of someone other than the person you're banging for the first time, even if it was by accident at literally the last moment.

(Especially when that someone is your girlfriend's childhood sort-of-ex boyfriend.)

When Terezi is all tucked up against you and purring, though, you just can't keep it to yourself any longer. "Uh, hey, TZ?"

"Mmmh?"

"I got a confession to make."

Terezi blinks up at you. "You want me to be on top always and forever?"

"Whoa, no. I mean," you say as she starts to pout, "that's up for serious negotiation, but that's not what I'm confessing."

"I'm just fucking with you," she chirps, and licks your face. "Do tell."

"Ugh," you say, and wipe your face with the back of your hand. "Yeah, okay, well. Uh." You press your lips together in frustration, then avert your gaze away from her attentive face. "I kind of... accidentally fantasized about Karkat while we were doing it. Which I do sometimes, not when we're messing around, just like-- uh, fuck, look, I'm--"

Terezi puts a finger over your lips and you stammer to a stop. She nestles closer and sighs happily. "You too, huh?"

You stare at the ceiling in bewilderment. Whatever response you were expecting, that was not it.


	2. Chapter 2

\-- turntechGodhead began pestering gallowsCalibrator --

TG: tz  
TG: tz  
TG: karkat keeps bending over in front of me what do i do  
GC: 1S H3 CLOS3 3NOUGH TO TOUCH? >:?  
TG: what  
TG: no im not going to grab his ass  
GC: 4WW  
GC: TH3N 1 GU3SS YOU W1LL H4V3 TO D3SCR1B3 H1S POST3R1OR TO M3 1N T3RMS OF S1GHT  
TG: are you kidding me  
TG: you were dating him at one point werent you didnt you grab his butt even once  
GC: D4V3 W3 W3R3 6   
TG: like that would have stopped you  
GC: 1 H4DNT Y3T PROGR3SS3D TO 4NYTH1NG B3YOND N3CK SN1FF1NG TH4NK YOU V3RY MUCH  
GC: NOW T3LL M3 4BOUT K4RK4TS BUTT >:]  
TG: oh man  
TG: his rump is the plushest ive ever seen and i grew up surrounded by smuppets  
TG: so plush i wanna sink right into it  
TG: round like a fucking beachball and perky like a cheerleader on a sugar high  
TG: that ass is bouncing all around the room  
GC: DO YOU W4NT TO TOUCH 1T?  
TG: fuck yes i want to touch it  
TG: cup those cheeks in my hands and squeeze  
TG: dig my fingers in see how firm it is  
TG: hold on tight while i  
TG: shit  
TG: goddamn it  
GC: WH4TS WRONG?  
TG: i have a raging hardon thats whats wrong  
TG: hes giving me the evil eye and making noises about me getting out of his way so he can finish cleaning and this fucker isnt going down  
GC: H3H3H3H3  
TG: this isnt funny tz  
GC: NO 1TS H1L4R1OUS!  
GC: 4ND R34LLY HOT >:]  
GC: T3LL M3 MOR3 4BOUT K4RK4TS 4SS  
TG: fuck you i want to leave this room sometime this century  
TG: oh god hes glaring at me  
TG: and doing that pouty scowl thing tz i cant deal with the pouty scowl  
GC: DO3S 1T ST1LL M4K3 YOU W4NT TO PUNCH H1M 1N TH3 F4C3?  
TG: take a guess  
TG: heres a hint i was vastly in denial about wanting to kiss his stupid mouth  
TG: god  
TG: this isn't making my boner any easier to deal with  
GC: G3T TO MY BLOCK 4ND 1LL H3LP YOU D34L W1TH 1T >;]  
TG: fff he just bent over again no ok i can do this  
TG: im a ninja  
TG: a boner ninja  
TG: poof

\-- turntechGodhead ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator --


	3. Chapter 3

You and Terezi turn it into a game, whispering or typing or gasping to one another all of the things you'd like to do to Karkat, bonus points if he's actually in the room at the time. It's the best game because it ends in orgasms and gives you plenty of wank material for when you're alone and not-so-briefly replaying those fantasies in your head. Everybody wins and Karkat is none the wiser.

Or so you like to think.

Fantasy starts bleeding over to reality, though. You start finding yourself standing a little too close to Karkat, letting your bro bumps and slaps and pats linger, keeping your gaze fixed upon him long enough that the shades don't hide that you've got to be looking at him. You back off in a hurry once you're honest with yourself about it but the damage has been done and he's already acting weird around you.

You think Terezi's handling it way better until the day you go to the rec room and walk in on Karkat doing his usual bossy on-a-cleaning-spree yelling, this time directed toward Terezi to pick up her fucking toys, already. She looks up from her scalemate pile and gives him this saucy goddamn grin that makes *you* feel hot. "Make me," she says, her voice all mocking sing-song.

Karkat stops and stares, his expression completely poleaxed. It'd be funny as hell if you weren't choking on the feeling that she'd just made a monumental fuckup. "Uh. What?"

Terezi's smirk goes fixed and you see the 'oh shit' shift in her expression before she plasters it over with a too-wide grin. "Make me some tea! I can't do all this bending and lifting when my throat is parched."

Karkat's shoulders hunch up around his ears and he tries to cover his queasy expression with a scowl. "Yeah, well, I don't care. Just... pick up your shit, okay?" He turns and hurries out of the room, pointedly not looking at you as he goes.

Terezi grimaces, and when Karkat's footsteps have faded away she says sadly, "He didn't buy any of that, did he."

"'Fraid not," you sigh as you sink down beside her into the scalemate pile. "I think we've gone and screwed the woofbeast."

"We've done what??"

"Dumb human idiom, never mind." You wave it away. "Point is... I think we're gonna have to stop playing our favorite game, TZ."

Terezi rolls on top of you and gets up in your grill. "No more naked time? Say it isn't so, Dave!"

You smack her ass. "That's not a game, that's deadly fucking serious."

"Pfff." She bursts into giggles and buries her face against your neck, where her laughter dies down all too soon. "That was a really stupid mistake I just made."

"Yeah, well, for your one stupid mistake I've made like, twenty. A few days ago I actually ruffled his fucking hair."

Terezi gasps. "No!"

"Yeah, and I don't think I actually distracted him with my explanation that I totally saw some sort of bug in there, seriously, he needs to brush his hair more often, it's like a briar patch, someone could lose a hand in there." You crack a smile at Terezi's snickering, but it fades fast. "I just... I hope we haven't lost him already, you know? I don't want him to think we're fucking with him."

"Mm..." After a moment, she pulls back enough you can see her face and smiles at you. "Maybe we should fuck with him."

"What the hell, TZ? Didn't I just say--"

"No, not fuck with him, but fuck *with* him." Terezi waggles her eyebrows and rolls her hips. "Get it?"

Heat flashes through you as you gape at her. "You can't be serious." Terezi just nods slowly, her smile widening into a grin. "Oh my fuck, you're serious. How the hell are you serious, we can't do that!"

"Why not?"

"Because--" You gesture helplessly. "Fuck, you've got that quadrant thing and I'm not into that quadrant thing and how would it even work with both of us after him, anyway--"

"Rose recently told me about the human concept of polyamory," Terezi says solemnly.

You groan and shove your glasses up to rub at your eyes. "Fuck Rose."

"Maybe someday!" Terezi puts her hand over your mouth before you can shout. "Anyway, that's beside the point. We both want him, right?" She won't uncover your mouth, so you nod, reluctantly. "And I daresay that we're also both pretty fond of him!"

Nuh-uh. No. You shake your head emphatically. You are not 'fond' of Karkat Vantas. You are his bro, which is totally different from wanting to hug him and pet his hair and listen to him purr like you do with Terezi.

(Except that thinking about it makes your heart twinge wistfully. God DAMN it.)

Terezi purses her lips. "I smell it all over you."

You sigh through your nose and go limp in surrender until she takes her hand off of your mouth. "Okay, so maybe I am, a little bit, but... What now? What if he doesn't believe us? What if..." You can barely stand to say it out loud. "What if he hates us?"

You see that same worry written all over her face, but she taps your nose and says, "What kind of life would it be if we didn't take risks?"

"One where we keep our friends?"

"Or..." Terezi stares into your eyes in a creepy, intense way that makes you feel thoroughly examined from soul to toes, her blindness notwithstanding. "One where we never have friends at all?"

You stare back, then breathe a sound that's almost a laugh. "Point."

\---

Terezi says you're going to seduce Karkat; you say you're going to court him. It's more ironic that way, you say, being all gentlemanly and giving him gifts and taking it slow even though you both want to bang him like a drum. 

Truth is, you feel too predatory calling it seduction, even jokingly like she does, even as little as either of you know what you're doing. You don't say it, but you're pretty sure she gets it all the same. (You're still not sure how to feel about how she puts up with your facades.)

However, you can't court someone who isn't there. You didn't think it was possible for someone so loud and emotional to be so hard to find, but for days on end neither of you can find him. Either he's not there when you're sure he'd be, or you just missed him. It's like he suddenly has some sixth sense for knowing when to be elsewhere.

"He's avoiding us," Terezi finally says, sadly. 

Your guts twist and you resist the urge to snap at her that no shit, you figured out the obvious too. You just say, "Yeah," and feel kind of sick. Her hand is in yours; she's clutching tightly, like you are hers, and hers is cold and clammy, too. You stare at the wall a while. "Maybe... maybe we've got to clear all the bullshit out of the air and lay it out on the table, claim it and label it, yeah, this is our bullshit, sorry we got it all over you without asking but hey, we're asking now, do you want to get down and dirty?"

Terezi wrinkles her nose. "Wow, that was a horrible metaphor, even for you."

"Thanks a lot."

"You're welcome! Bad metaphors aside, you're right." She squeezes your hand. "Even though it scares me."

You look at her in mock-astonishment. "Terezi Pyrope, scared of something?"

Terezi's lips quirk as she looks away. "I've learned to be scared of heartbreak."

You squeeze her hand. "What's life without diving off a few relationship bridges, huh?"

"It's unfair to obliquely turn my words back onto me," she says with a grin. "Okay, I'll flip you for who gets to message him!"

You lose, but then again, you don't try real hard to win. 

 

\-- turntechGodhead began pestering carcinoGeneticist --

TG: yo karkat me and rezi want to have a chat with you  
TG: like in person  
TG: uh its not a huge deal we just want to talk to you about a thing  
TG: so like well be in the common room from 1900 to 2100 you can drop by then if you want  
TG: watch a show hang out talk about feelings  
TG: stuff like that  
TG: anyway peace out

\-- turntechGodhead ceased pestering carcinoGeneticist --

 

You stare at the screen with a grimace. Terezi probably shouldn't have let you write it by yourself, but what's done is done, you guess. You hope he comes. You hope you and Terezi can make this okay.

Terezi's already there when you arrive. You put on some cartoons and settle in beside her to wait. 1900 hours comes and goes; you huddle together in silence as the cartoons play on, ignored.

By the time 2000 hours is creeping up you're pretty sure your stomach is going to dissolve itself out of sheer nervousness. As it ticks on by you feel like screaming, come on Karkat, come on, at least let us talk to you! You share a distressed glance with Terezi that lasts exactly one half of a second; you're both too nervous to look at each other for long.

At 2017 heavy footfalls approach with agonizing slowness. You do a hasty bit of scooting around -- you don't want to sit too far away from Terezi, that would look like you're hiding something, but so would clinging to each other like barnacles, but you don't want to look too obviously like you're sitting apart because that looks like Serious Talk Time and while this is serious you don't want to freak him out--

Karkat peers into the room. It's obviously too late to not freak him out, the poor guy looks like he's going to his own execution. Shit. You try to say something but for once in your life your mouth won't open. Fortunately, Terezi says a shaky, "Hey, Karkat, come in!" while you give him a nod.

He looks like he'd much rather run away, but he manages to pry himself from the doorframe and sidle over to a chair, crab-style, before sitting on it like it was made of thumbtacks. You all fidget for a long moment, looking anywhere but at each other.

"So. Uh." Karkat's voice is raspier than usual. "You wanted to talk about feelings, huh."

Terezi stiffens, then her elbow connects with your ribs. You clench your jaw against a gasp as she says, "Yes! Some... feelings."

"Yeah, okay." Karkat swallows hard and continues, "But before we start I just want to say that I'm sorry for-- for however I've made you upset. I mean, I understand if you want me gone, I respect that, you don't have to explain it--"

You blurt, "What the hell?" 

Karkat won't look up from his shoes as he continues, "I know I'm a fuckup and I'm pretty much useless and just in you guys's way. I mean, I was kind of pissed when you were flaunting how desirable you were as matesprits at me but fuck, I deserve it, don't I? I'm not surprised you're sick of me. Just, uh, let me stay on this rock until we get somewhere that's, you know, actually somewhere, I don't really want to die yet--"

You jump as Terezi's voice rings out, sharp and shrill. "Shut the fuck up!" Karkat cuts off mid-word, mouth hanging open. "Please stop being paranoid and stupid for five minutes. Please?"

"Seriously, dude," you say, your voice cracking. "We'd never do shit like that, so cut it out."

Terezi leans forward. "Besides, if we want to talk about guilt for things going to shit, I've earned plenty of it."

You stare at her. "Wait, what."

Karkat shakes his head vehemently. "No fucking way, Terezi. I was the leader, I dropped the ball -- fuck, I dropped ALL of the balls, I stood there with my thumb up my nook while-- while--"

Terezi smacks the couch. "You were doing the best you could! I fucked around chasing phantoms when you needed my help!"

"Oh fuck that noise, you know it was my fault that I didn't stop Eridan and I sent Equius after--"

"But you would have had backup if I hadn't run away crying--"

You yell, "Oh my fucking god will you both can it?!" Terezi and Karkat both jump and stare at you. "I don't see either of you wearing greasepaint or -- what was that other guy's MO, ugly scarves? -- so neither of you get the guilt. Nope," you say, holding up a hand when both of them open their mouths, "I'm the only actual god here and I decree it so. No guilt, either of you, so shut up about it."

Terezi sputters. "I object!"

"I'd overrule it but instead I've just turned back time so you never made that objection. Hey, I said nope," you say, covering her mouth with your hand when she opens it again.

"You're making me ill," Karkat grumbles.

You almost laugh in relief at how he sounds more like himself, but swallow it instead because he still looks incredibly fragile. (Fragile? Yes, fragile, and god damn if that doesn't make you feel all sorts of weird.) Terezi sighs dramatically and licks your hand in apology. You make a grossed out face and wipe your hand on her pants. "Where the hell were we, anyway."

"You weren't going to put me on trial for the deaths of our friends, but you may have been about to tell me that you've decided to harvest and eat my internal organs," Karkat says, carefully. 

You facepalm. "Jesus fucking christ, seriously?"

"Well, how should I know?!"

"Uuuugh. Karkat, your paranoia is not one of your finer qualities. And you are being absurdly paranoid!" Terezi puffs out her cheeks in annoyance before huffing a sigh. "We like you and want you alive and nothing is going to change that." 

"Oh. Uh. Well then." Karkat shifts like he's torn between settling back or bolting in terror. "So was that all you wanted to tell me?"

"Dude, we could have told you that at any time. This is something way more important." Damn, that was the wrong thing to say; Karkat's expression shifts back to terror and he almost rises from his seat. "Like, how we owe you an apology," you rush to say.

Karkat falls back into his seat. "You. Owe me."

"Yes! For making you uncomfortable and accidentally flirting with you," Terezi says.

"Accidentally," Karkat echoes, his brows drawing together.

"Yeah, more or less," you say. "Not like, we meant to flirt with someone else and flirted with you instead, but... uh. Fuck."

Terezi rubs her chin. "Maybe 'accidentally' was the wrong word to use."

"So what the hell are you even saying? You're my friends but you were fucking with me all this time, whoops, sorry good buddy!" Karkat forces his mouth into a rictus grin and gives you both an exaggerated shrug. 

"Karkat, no," Terezi starts.

But Karkat keeps talking, his voice slightly more hysterical with every word. "Didn't mean to rub our matespritship in your face, hahaha! Sorry you're a romantic failure!"

"We're both flushed for you," you blurt.

"Our bad for--" Karkat cuts off, his hysteria shifting to bafflement. "What?" 

Terezi makes a face at you and says, "He said we're both flushed for you. I didn't exactly want to blurt it out like that, but maybe it's for the best we did."

"How," Karkat croaks.

You shrug. "Mysteries of the bloodpusher, bro."

"No, I mean how, like, how can you both be? How can you both be flushed for me and still be flushed for each other and be okay with that?" Karkat looks back and forth between you. "Oh god, you two are still matesprits, right?"

"Unless something's changed on that front in the last five minutes without me noticing, yes, we are," you say with exasperation.

"So how? How can you be in a quadrant together and both want me in that same quadrant and be okay with that?" 

"Because we do. Alternia is gone, Karkat. We don't have to use its rules if they don't fit us anymore," Terezi says gently.

Karkat rakes his fingers through his hair and down over his face in distress. "But it's asking for trouble! We don't work that way and I know humans don't--"

"Except for some who do, which apparently includes me," you say.

"And me."

You shrug as casually as possible. "So there you go. You're a stud, it's you, with two fine bitches all happy and willing to be up in your grill."

Karkat hunches over and rubs his temples like he has the mother of all migraines. "Okay, great. You're flushed for me. Now what? Do you get to timeshare my ass or something?" He looks up and gives you a pained look that makes you feel a little guilty, for all that long ago scene with that terrible troll romance novel was his idea.

"Well, uh, ideally it'd be like, a three-way thing," you say, which only makes him look even more pained.

"So I'm basically a sex toy, huh."

"No! Karkat, stop it," Terezi says sternly. "How it works is you decide what you're okay with."

"And if I'm not okay with any of this?" Karkat hunches more and glares at you both, challenging, accusative. "What if I don't want you flirting with me or touching me or flushed for me? What then."

You're indignant, but under it your heart is pounding. You do your best to keep your shrug super casual. "Then we back off and go back to being friends, if you still want to be friends with us." 

Terezi nods her agreement. "We still want to be friends with you, no matter what you decide."

Karkat's face crumples before he can hide it by rubbing his face, and your heart nearly twists its way right out of your chest. "I... I have to think about this. Just leave me alone while I figure shit out." He peers out from under his hair at you both. "I'm not saying no yet, but I'm not sure I'm ever going to say yes, either, okay?"

"Do what you need to do," Terezi says, softly. "You know where to find us when you want to talk."

"Yeah, I... yeah." Karkat stands. "Thanks. I guess." 

"Take care of yourself, man," you call after him as he flees from the room. As his footsteps fade, you sigh. "Welp. I guess that could have gone worse."

"Yes," Terezi says as she burrows into you and clings. "The room could have caved in."

You wrap your arms around her and press your face into her hair. "The room? Hell, the whole damn meteor could have imploded due to the vacuum caused by the complete disappearance of our cool."

She snickers into your shoulder. "We could have all been eaten by a horrorterror and then spat back out because we were so awful!"

"Lord English himself could have shown up and gone aw HELL naw and just ended all reality forever because we sucked so bad."

Terezi giggles. "No, I think I have the worst one."

"Yeah?"

She gives you a very serious look. "Karkat could have started crying."

You shiver and wince. "Damn, Terezi, save the horror stories for daytime."


	4. Chapter 4

You leave Karkat alone. You give him space. You don't avoid him, even though you're tempted to -- it hurts to see his guarded expression and hunched shoulders -- but Terezi says that'll make it look like you're abandoning him like you said you wouldn't. You think about it a while, remember times of silent treatment in your childhood, and decide she's right.

So, even though it hurts, you act as normally as you can around Karkat. You say hey to him when you pass in the hall or enter a room he's in, you ask him to hand you stuff if he's by the fridge when you're making a sandwich and realizing you forgot the mayo, you pass along the occasional message. You do your best to show that there's space for him in your life.

After little while, his shoulders don't go up around his ears anymore when you or Terezi talk to him.

It's a little while longer before he starts hanging out with you guys again, and a little while longer still before he sticks around for more than a half an hour at a stretch. He still stays out of touch range, and neither of you try to touch him. (You have never missed fistbumps so much in your life.)

And, after a little while longer (an agonizingly long time of wondering if anything was going to be okay between you three again), you get an invitation to a memo over Pesterchum.

 

carcinoGeneticist created private bulletin board DUMB ROMANTIC STUFF.   
CG invited GC to private bulletin board DUMB ROMANTIC STUFF.   
CG invited TG to private bulletin board DUMB ROMANTIC STUFF.

CG opened memo on board DUMB ROMANTIC STUFF.

CG: HEY.  
CG: I THINK IT'S PRETTY SAFE TO SAY AT THIS POINT THAT I MISS YOU GUYS.  
CG: LIKE, THE WAY WE USED TO BE, WITH ME AS YOUR COMFORTABLY PLATONIC THIRD WHEEL.  
CG: I KNOW WE CAN'T GO BACK TO THAT NOW, BUT  
CG: I DON'T KNOW.  
CG: I LIKE YOU BOTH A LOT AND I DON'T WANT TO LOSE THAT.  
CG: I'M NOT SURE HOW MUCH? THAT SOUNDS REALLY STUPID BUT I CAN'T FIGURE OUT MY FEELINGS WORTH SHIT RIGHT NOW.  
CG: DO I WANT IT TO BE FLUSHED BECAUSE YOU WANT IT TO BE, OR DO I ONLY THINK I THINK THAT BECAUSE I GAVE UP ON WANTING ANYTHING FLUSHED AT ALL, OR DO I THINK THAT I THINK THAT I THINK THAT BECAUSE  
CG: WOW, FUCK, I FORGOT WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THAT.  
CG: ANYWAY, BEFORE ANY PAST OR FUTURE MES SHOW UP TO TURN THIS INTO A SHIT CIRCUS I'LL COME OUT AND SAY IT.  
CG: I WANT TO GIVE THIS FLUSHED THING A TRY.  
CG: I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING OR HOW I'M GOING TO DO IT, AND I PREEMPTIVELY APOLOGIZE FOR THE MASSIVE AMOUNT OF SHIT I'LL PROBABLY END UP FLIPPING AT THE WORST POSSIBLE MOMENTS.  
CG: SO.  
CG: YEAH.  
CG: <3

 

You tell yourself you have to read it twice to understand what the hell Karkat is getting at, and your heart totally didn't skip a beat there at the end. (You're such a liar.) You don't, however, waste any time in messaging Terezi.

 

turntechGodhead began pestering gallowsCalibrator

TG: hey tz hey tz hey  
TG: tz hey  
TG: tzzzz look at your husktop already  
TG: or lick it whatever  
TG: come on youre killing me here  
GC: P4T13NC3 1S 4 V1RTU3 D4V3!  
GC: 4ND 4FT3R L4ST N1GHT 1 TH1NK YOU COULD ST4ND TO B3 4 L1TTL3 MOR3 V1RTUOUS >;]  
TG: gdi woman stop sassing me and look at your other messages  
GC: 4H4!  
GC: NO WOND3R YOUR3 4LL WORK3D UP  
GC: HMMM  
GC: OH WOW  
GC: WOW!  
GC: 1 H4V3NT S33N 4 <3 OUT OF H1M TOW4RD 4NYON3 S1NC3  
GC: W3LL 4 LONG T1M3 4GO  
TG: that fucking <3 is killing me  
GC: 4R3 YOU G3TT1NG 4 L1TTL3 D4MP 4ROUND TH3 G4ND3RBULBS D4V3?  
TG: i will allow that im feeling a touch emotional right now  
TG: now cmon wed better reply

 

TG joined memo.

TG: <3

GC joined memo.

GC: <3  
GC: NOW T3LL US WH3N 4ND WH3R3 W3 C4N HUG TH3 STUFF1NG OUT OF YOU!  
CG: UH WHOA, HEY  
CG: I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU GUYS TO SEE THIS SO SOON  
TG: yeah well we had to jump on this train before it derailed into a smoking wreckage of self loathing and pathetic apologies  
TG: this train is headed toward figuring shit outville and were making sure it stays on track  
TG: no smoking fighting or beating yourself up allowed on board  
GC: 4ND 1N TH3 M34NT1M3 W3 4R3 P4SS1NG OUT FR33 COMPL1M3NT4RY HUGS!  
GC: JUST T3LL US WH3R3 TO D3L1V3R >;]  
CG: HOLD ON, HOLD ON, I'M KIND OF HYPERVENTILATING HERE.  
CG: AUUUUUUUGH.  
CG: GOD, I'M SUCH A LOSER, I'M ALREADY FREAKING OUT.  
TG: hey what did i say about beating yourself up  
TG: not allowed bro  
TG: you can freak out if you need to youre an emotional guy  
GC: FR34K1NG OUT 1S K1ND OF YOUR MO 4ND W3R3 US3D TO 1T!  
GC: BUT W3R3 H3R3 TO H3LP YOU CH1LL OUT 1F YOU W4NT US TO B3  
CG: YEAH, OKAY.  
CG: UH, I'M IN MY BLOCK, IF YOU'RE OKAY WITH COMING HERE.  
TG: the question is if youre okay with us coming there  
TG: dont want to invade your space yo  
GC: D4V3 DONT M4K3 H1M OV3RTH1NK 1T!  
GC: K4RK4T W3LL COM3 TO YOU 4ND YOU C4N T3LL US TO L34V3 4NY T1M3 YOU N33D TO OK4Y?  
CG: I THINK I CAN HANDLE THAT.  
CG: BUT FOR FUCK'S SAKE HURRY UP OR I'M GOING TO START FREAKING OUT AGAIN.  
TG: heres where id normally say something saucy about your wish being our command  
TG: but this time around im just going to say hang in there dude were coming  
GC: S33 YOU SOON <3

GC left memo.   
TG left memo.

 

You hurry to Karkat's block, getting there first and hesitating at the door instead of bursting in and sweeping him off his feet. What if it's too weird if it's just you? But before you can fret too much Terezi arrives, giving you a funny little look as she approaches. "What are you waiting for?" You shrug, awkwardly, and she shakes her head with a chuckle and leads you by the hand through the door.

Karkat is curled up in a multicolored pile of pillows and, true to his word, looking like he's freaking out. He starts as you two enter and makes this funny little squeaking sound that makes your heart twist even as you want to laugh. "H-hey. I. Um."

"Shh," Terezi says as she sinks down into the pile and wraps her arms around him. Karkat squeaks again and tenses for a moment, like he's not sure what to do, before burrowing into her so hard they topple sideways. Terezi bursts out laughing and noogies him, earning her a hilarious indignant noise.

And here you are, fidgeting and watching them wrestle around, like a dumbass. Turns out the logistics of three-person snuggles are a little beyond you, and you're feeling more awkward than you have in a long time. It seems rude to just plant yourself behind Karkat, like it'd be a sneak attack or something.

"No spectators allowed, Dave!" Terezi grabs you by a pants leg and pulls as she rolls out of the way, sending you sprawling into the pile and half on top of Karkat.

Karkat freezes and stares at you, clearly too flustered to complain. You're feeling a little flustered yourself (his face is mere inches away and oh god do you want to kiss him), but you manage to maintain your cool enough to push your glasses up into your hair and give him a smile. "Hey."

He stares. "Holy fuck, you do have eyes under there."

You deadpan and beside you, Terezi bursts into giggles. "No shit, Sherlock, you figured out the mystery and won the grand prize. You're the investigative master, it's you."

Aha, there's the scowl you've grown to love. "I'm so lucky. What did I win?"

You nestle against him and smile sweetly. "Me."

"And me!" Terezi rolls back into place against Karkat and he squeaks again. This time you don't even try to hide a grin. "And we've won a Karkat sandwich."

"Winners all up in this bitch," you murmur as you nuzzle the side of Karkat's head. 

Karkat's breath catches. "S-so this is what it feels like to win something, huh?"

Terezi kisses the end of his nose. "Pretty great, isn't it?"

He breathes a sound that makes your dick twinge as much as your heart. "I kinda feel like you guys got the booby prize."

"No way! This is the best prize I could ever ask for." Terezi smiles fondly at Karkat and cups his cheek.

"Same." You brush your lips against his ear, earning you another of those sounds.

"You're both insane," Karkat sighs, his eyes drifting shut and an honest-to-god smile tugging at his lips.

You trade smirks and a fistbump with Terezi before you tighten your arm around Karkat, and you let yourself think that just maybe, this is going to work out.


	5. Chapter 5

Logistics between three people is vastly different than between two. You can't just flop down any old way without someone getting an elbow in an unfortunate spot, and you don't all want to be together all of the time, but it's hard to see Terezi with him and not feel a surge of something akin to jealousy -- and not know which of them you're feeling jealous toward. It's hard to know how to time things, even with your innate senses, and you finally have to give in and make a loose schedule to make sure everyone has enough time with one another as well as alone. Karkat is insufferably smug about it, right up until you pinch his butt and say, "Never thought it'd end up like this, huh Karkles?"

Terezi laughs her head off at the wrestling match you and Karkat get into, and you can't help but feel a twisted sense of deja vu along with the boner you get from inadvertently rubbing against him.

It's weird for a while. When it's all three of you piled together, things are new and exciting; when it's them together you have to fight your insecurity that they'll stop needing you. When it's you and him it's just weird -- can you just go up and ruffle his hair or kiss his neck, or will he freak out? You went straight from bros to boyfriends with no flirting in between that wasn't covered by plausible deniability, and you don't know how to handle this without Terezi to lead things.

Karkat gets sick of waiting for you to figure your shit out before you can bring yourself to ask for advice, though. You're idly dicking around with Terezi's chalk, making new SBaHJ masterpieces (of shit) on a corridor wall when he shows up. You don't even have time to say hey before he slips an arm around your waist and and hugs you close. "Hey, got a minute?"

You feel light-headed. You've shared idle touches in passing before, but this is the first time he's just up and snuggled you. "A minute? Bro, I got ALL the minutes. You want a minute you have come to the right man, I will load you up on minutes." Oh shit, he's looking exasperated. "Why, what's up?"

That's when he leans in and kisses you.

You've kissed him on the temple and the ear and the cheek before -- a little too lingering to be auntie kisses but still pretty fucking chaste -- but not with tongue. Neither you or Terezi wanted to push things too fast, but damn, is he pushing them now. Not that you're complaining. He's impatient and a little sharp, contrary about you trying to take the lead until you work your fingers through his hair. 

As Karkat relaxes his impatience shifts to eagerness, his mouth soft and willing as he lets you in. You kiss him slow and deep, sinking into him like you were fucking him, like you've wanted to fuck him for months now. He melts into it, presses against you like he wants to crawl into your clothes with you, clutches at you possessively.

When he breaks the kiss it's way too soon for you, even though you've been sucking face for nearly an hour and your legs ache from standing still for so long. He gives you this devilish little bright-eyed smirk and says throatily, "Thanks for the minutes." 

You're reeling. Jesus fucking Christ you would a lot of questionable things to hear him sound like that more often. "Y-yeah, anytime."

Not that you have to do anything questionable. Karkat takes your 'anytime' literally and accosts you almost everywhere -- in hallways, in the kitchen, when he's losing at games. You should be annoyed at that last one, but you can't manage it, even when Terezi walks in on it happening and laughs so hard she has to sit down. She makes up for it, though, by pulling the same stunt on Karkat when he starts winning. You end up losing anyway because the screen holds very little interest for you all of the sudden.

The only thing that keeps you from a one-way ticket to frustrated boner town is that you and Terezi compare notes, share your fantasies, and bang each other into oblivion on a near daily basis. But soon, between the one-on-one makeouts, the three-way makeouts, and how you've started catching Karkat looking at you like he wants to devour you, you're practically a walking hard-on, ready to pop one up at the least provocation.

Karkat provides you and Terezi a lot of provocation just by existing, but right now he's sitting in your lap. Well, sprawling in your lap, because you're both sprawled out on the common room couch and ostensibly watching shitty 90's cartoons with a high irony value. Whatever, the important thing is that his perfect ass is pressed firmly against your crotch and it's all you can do to concentrate really, really hard on just how shitty these cartoons are to keep you from poking him inappropriately.

And then he starts to squirm. Just little shifts like he can't quite get comfortable or has an itch somewhere not socially acceptable or something, but definitely squirming and definitely making that ass move against you in ways that is making your dick sit up and say hello. 

"Karkat, dude, I can't focus on the show when you're squirming around like a worm on a hook." You'd sure like to hook his worm -- oh, fuck your dirty mind, seriously.

"You can't focus on the show because it's a piece of shit," Karkat says, as grumpily matter-of-fact as ever, and wriggles some more.

"Yeah, but it's a uniquely entertaining piece of shit, a piece of shit that's like the pinnacle of the manure pile, you're not going to get a finer piece of shit than this." You're rambling, you know you're rambling, but you're too acutely aware of how every little twitch of his glutes gets you harder to make yourself stop. "It's a piece of shit I want to watch attain its full potential and aroma, so go take a piss or something so you can sit still."

Karkat sighs dramatically. "I'm just getting comfortable, god, stop being such a wriggler about it." And he ever-so-fucking-subtly grinds his ass against your crotch.

You stop breathing. Did he actually do that. Yes, he's still doing it, a slow, rhythmic flex back against you that turns your hard-on from interested to raging in three seconds. "Comfortable," you manage, and are proud your voice doesn't crack. "Yeah, okay, settle in."

"Fucking finally," Karkat murmurs, and relaxes against you, his hips still moving. It's only moments before you can't help but return the favor, if tentatively, but when he breathes a moan you get braver. 

You forget entirely about the shitty cartoon as you rut against one another. This is one of the best things that has ever happened to you, it's amazing and screamingly frustrating all at once. You're dry humping another boy's ass through like four layers of clothes and you have never felt more teenaged before in your life.

You're kissing Karkat's neck and toying with the button of his jeans when Terezi's voice makes you jump. "Started without me, huh?"

Karkat doesn't even twitch. "You're... mmh. Late," he manages.

"By about five minutes," you add, breathlessly. "And now you gotta rescue me from this lump on my lap. Dude can't sit still for ten seconds and worked me up into an inopportune boner. Fucking embarrassing, I tell you."

Karkat hmphs, but before he can manage to make words he has a very interested Terezi up in his grill. "Is that so? And how does the accused plead?"

Karkat groans. "You're not seriously--" He groans again, this time from you grinding against him. "You're not going to drag me into a role play--"

You raise your eyebrows. "I do believe he's in contempt, Legislacerator Pyrope."

Terezi beams at you. "Indeed! I think it's time for an interrogation." She flops down on the other end of the couch and puts her bare feet in Karkat's lap.

Karkat's breath catches. "Y-you don't even have your legal terminology right, come on--" He cuts off with a squeak as she rubs her foot against his crotch.

"I'll be doing the corrections around here," Terezi says lightly, and nudges his legs further apart. "Dave, you said he can't sit still?"

"More like won't, he's been rubbing against my dick for like ten minutes." You stutter the rhythm of your hips, staying down when he expects you to arch up. He hisses a breath and wriggles himself down against you. "See?"

"'S not my fault you're uncomfortable to sit on," Karkat gasps as Terezi kneads her foot over the lump in his jeans. "Poking me in the ass with your f-freaky human bulge."

You nuzzle him. "Hey, my dick was minding its own business before you started doing the asscheek mambo against it."

"Very suspicious," Terezi purrs. "And what do you think his intent was, Dave?"

"To give me a raging hard-on in the face of inescapable temptation," you breathe into Karkat's ear as you grind up against him again.

"Lies and slander," he moans.

You nip his ear and he squeaks. "Says the guy who told me I looked comfortable and made himself right at home."

"Th-then-" Karkat lolls back against you, panting, as Terezi works her foot against him. "You're guilty of false advertising--"

"The prosecution reminds Mister Vantas that he's the one on trial here!" Terezi smiles and grinds her heel between Karkat's legs, and he moans so loudly you shudder. "And the prosecution thinks the evidence is clear -- you sat on Dave's lap with every intention to be an insufferable bulge tease and enjoyed every moment of it." She pointedly rubs her foot up against his bulge before grinding her heel against his nook again. "How do you plead?"

Karkat whines. You help him decide by rutting up against his ass. "G-guilty," he gasps, "I'm guilty, guilty as fuck--"

Terezi licks her lips. "Then your sentence is... a thorough debauching, to be carried out immediately in private quarters. Any objections?" 

"None," you say happily. Karkat squeaks.

"Then hop to it, boys!" She gives Karkat's crotch one last, lingering rub before swinging her feet off the couch and standing, then holding out her hands to him. 

You hear him swallow nervously. "Go on, man," you murmur, and kiss behind his ear. Karkat takes a shuddery breath, then grasps her hands and lets her pull him stumbling to his feet.

The three of you wobble arm-in-arm down the corridors toward you room. Karkat is between you and Terezi, partly because neither of you wants to be out of touch range of him, partly because he seems to need the help in staying upright. It makes you grin, until you notice how quiet he is. Terezi's noticed too; she's looks about to say something when Karkat bursts into giddy laughter. "I can't believe this is happening. I can't believe this is happening to _me_."

You try to smirk at him, be all smoldering and shit, but you end up grinning as giddly as he is. "You better believe it, bro," you say, tightening your arm around his waist.

Terezi leans in close, her expression impish. "We're going to turn you into quite the believer."

You lean in as well and brush your lips against his ear. "Hell yes, we're gonna make all your dreams come true."

That gets Karkat laughing again, trying for derisive and landing squarely in flustered. You and Terezi laugh at him -- with him -- and herd him along faster.

The door to your room barely has a chance to slide shut before you and Terezi have captured Karkat between you. He goes still with his hands fluttering at his sides like he's not sure what to do, until you and Terezi remind him with your lips and hands. "Ah," he gasps as Terezi kisses up his jaw. "Fuck yes," he groans as you press up against his ass.

You've done some petting in your makeout sessions before, but this is the first time you've been able to really get your hands up Karkat's shirt and feel him up properly. He's got tits too, littler ones than Terezi but it's still plush softness over firm muscle, and you can't keep your hands off of them. You rub a nipple and he makes this sound into Terezi's mouth that's like, pure distilled fuck-me-please, and she growls and starts scrabbling at his pants.

Karkat breaks free of the kiss to gasp, "Wait, hey, why are you taking my clothes off first?"

"We're the ones doing the debauching, bro," you say and give his nipples a squeeze.

"But!" Terezi giggles at how high his voice goes and he squirms against you. "It's just. Not right."

Terezi purses her lips thoughtfully. "Correct. It's not a thorough debauching unless we fill your eyes with lascivious sights first." She steps back with a grin. "Not that I would know."

"It's a sound theory," you say cheerfully as she pulls off her top.

"Guh," says Karkat.

Terezi's grin gets wider as she thumbs open the button of her jeans. "Guh, huh? I'm flattered." She draws down the zipper and Karkat's breath goes uneven. "I wonder what other sounds we'll get out of you."

"Aah--" Karkat gasps as you drag your nails up his belly. "S-some really embarrassing ones-- oh. _Fuck_." His breath stutters as Terezi turns and does the same number she likes to tease you with, bending over as she slides her jeans and underwear down and giving you both a good long look at her ass and teal flushed nook.

Karkat whines and you grin. "I know, right?"

"Don't get any bright ideas!" Terezi smiles at Karkat over her shoulder. "We have a ladies first rule around here."

"And gentlemen get sloppy seconds," you say as you unbutton his jeans. "How about it, Karkat?"

"Weren't... weren't you supposed to be, uh. Getting naked first," Karkat says dazedly as he watches Terezi kick her clothes away and turn around.

"Oh yeah, I reckon I was. You're just too damn hard to let go of." You arch your hips against his ass and he whines. "See?"

"Dave! Quit teasing him and strip!"

"Y-yeah, fuck, you're making me wait and it's killing me," Karkat says, slapping at your hands. "Come on, make with the eyecandy already."

"Well damn, how can I resist a demand like that?" You sound as delighted as you are, and you don't care. You let Karkat go and step back. He turns as you whip off your cape dramatically -- and let it sail up and over to drape over his head.

Karkat snarls incoherently and paws at your cape; Terezi laughs so hard she falls backward onto your bed. You take the opportunity to rid yourself of your glasses and shirt, and when Karkat finally claws the cape off of himself, you have your pants pulled almost all the way down your hips. Almost; they're still fashion-shoot legal, which means borderline pornographic with the boner you're sporting. He looks you up and down and his glare of flustered rage gives way to a look of outright hunger.

"Like my magic trick?" You tug the waistband of your pants down another inch.

"Ghk," Karkat says.

"Could be a little more thorough," Terezi says. She slides off the bed and presses up close to Karkat. "Since I see someone is still fully dressed."

"Ah. I, uh, Dave, Dave still needs to--"

You shove your pants to your ankles and step out of them. "Yeah?"

Karkat squeaks and Terezi giggles into his neck. " _Et voilà_ ," she says, and pulls down his jeans' zipper.

You both have to help Karkat undress, as the more frantic he is to get them off the clumsier he gets. Of course, this is in part due to the very help you're giving him -- how could you possibly resist kissing and groping all those newly exposed bits of skin, or rubbing your dick against that amazingly plush rump? 

"It should be illegal for you to wear pants," you breathe into Karkat's neck as you arch against him. "I propose a motion to prevent you from wearing pants in the future."

"Motion seconded!" Terezi says as her hands wander south of Karkat's hips.

"M-motion overruled," Karkat gasps as he presses his ass back against you. "You don't have the slightest fucking authority!"

You chuckle and pinch him. "Who's the god here?"

It turns out that godhood does not protect you from being suddenly hoisted up and flung onto your bed. You yowl in embarrassment, but matters are improved considerably when first Karkat, then Terezi tumbles onto the bed beside you. "I declare revenge," you say cheerfully, and kiss him hard.

Revenge is sweet when it's in a naked cuddlepile because there's so many ways to make Karkat gasp and moan and squirm. He feels so good, so warm and solid, and his bulge slick and eager against your cock. Between you and Terezi it's only minutes before you've left him nearly incoherent, with only pleading moans of your name and quick, hungry touches to left to communicate how much he wants you both. 

Behind him, Terezi looks pretty damn eager herself, nipping at Karkat's shoulder and rolling her hips frantically. Karkat shifts as she pushes a knee between his legs and you feel a surge of excitement, even though you're not going to be the one inside him. This is it, god, you can't wait to watch him come apart--

Except that he squeaks and sits bolt upright, his eyes wide and startled and his legs clamped shut. "Oh god, oh god," he gasps, a little hysterically.

Terezi fights the hurt off her face. "What's the matter?"

"I just! I wasn't expecting that and, uh." Karkat squirms. "My bulge kind of... retracted." He glances over at her and winces. "I want to! I do, I really fucking do, but I need a minute to make it work again, okay?"

Terezi's brows furrow upward, then she starts giggling as Karkat glares at his crotch. "Glaring at it isn't going to work!"

"Guilt is a great motivator!" he protests.

You groan and cover your eyes, but a moment later you can't help but start snickering, yourself. "God, this is ridiculous. You're ridiculous. Have you ever realized how ridiculous you are?"

"You aren't helping," Karkat snaps.

"No, he isn't, but he could! Hey Dave, maybe you should show Karkat your other magic trick."

You uncover your eyes to see Terezi waggling her eyebrows at you. Karkat looks between you both with suspicion. "You have another stupid magic trick?"

"Nah, I have another fucking awesome magic trick." You slide off the bed to kneel in front of him and rest your hands on his knees. "I call this one the Snake Charmer."

Terezi makes a happy noise and cuddles up to Karkat. "It's my favorite trick," she stage-whispers to him.

Karkat's eyes widen. "Oh. Uh. That sounds. Interesting." He swallows audibly. "L-Let's see it, then."

You smirk and nudge his legs apart. He's hesitant at first, obviously nervous the way his hands fist in the blanket, but as you kiss your way up his inner thigh his reluctance quickly dissolves.

It gives you a confused thrill to look at Karkat's bits, just like it did when you were first getting acquainted with Terezi's tentacle dick. His is just barely peeking out, like an oversized clit just begging to be sucked. He needs it slow, though, slow and sweet, so you don't dive in. You kiss and nuzzle the soft gray skin around it, then downward, licking and mouthing the fleshy lips of his nook.

Karkat's breathing picks up as his hands fist white-knuckled in the blanket and his legs spread more. You return to the head of his bulge to kiss it, your lips soft and open, and his hips jerk. "Yes, yes, please," he moans, and you smile to yourself before you slide your mouth around him.

He goes tense and trembling as you work your tongue against him, until you hear a whisper from Terezi that makes him whimper. Now his hips push up, roll with you as you envelop his unsheathing bulge again and again. He's gasping high sharp noises that only get more frantic as Terezi continues to whisper to him and his bulge fills your mouth.

Karkat sounds more than a little desperate by the time Terezi says, "Mm, I think his snake is thoroughly charmed, don't you?"

You look up at them and hum thoughtfully, making Karkat shudder and keen. "F-fuck yes it's charmed, it will follow you any-fucking-where you want--"

You chuckle around him and he claws at the bed. Terezi giggles too and nuzzles his neck. "Are you ready?"

"Am I-- oh, yeah, yes I'm ready, I am more than ready, I'm fucking dying here!"

You're more than happy to pull back and watch them get situated so that Karkat is still facing you while straddling Terezi's lap. God it's cute, seeing Karkat so eager to be fucked he's trembling in her arms, trying to play it cool but being utterly unable to keep from shuddering and moaning as Terezi's tentadick writhes against his nook. "Oh-- Terezi, please just-- oh, oh, oh god--!"

"You're so -warm-," Terezi moans.

You move in close again, slide your hands up Karkat's thighs. He stares at you in lust-glazed bewilderment. "You're not going to..."

You smile. "I always finish what I start, bro," you say, and guide his questing bulge into your mouth.

Karkat shudders between you both, his panting punctuated by Terezi's little yelps of pleasure. You're quiet only because of obvious reasons, as you are enjoying the fuck out of yourself -- so many private daydreams turned to an even more delicious reality of Karkat's fat bulge in your mouth, his hand gentle on your head, his moans unexpectedly sweet in your ears.

Your own hand is on your aching dick. You can't help yourself; as it is, it's all you can do to keep from stroking yourself fast and hard as Terezi's moans come faster, as Karkat's moans grow more frantic, more overwhelmed. His hand tightens in your hair as he writhes and cries, "Terezi oh god, oh fuck Dave don't stop please, please, PLEASE--"

You don't stop, even when your mouth kind of overflows and you have to jerk your hand away from your dick before you go off, too. It's a near thing; between Karkat's quaking and screaming (god is he loud), between the taste of him and how he clutches at you, you're right on the edge.

Karkat has to brace himself against your shoulders as he comes down, which makes it pretty hard for you to pull away and get his bulge out of your mouth. Not that you're complaining; he's whimpering and whining like he's going to die if either you or Terezi stop, and it's so damn hot you start to wonder if you're going to come even without touching yourself.

However, Karkat's arms start shaking and he gasps, "Fuck, fuck, I need to-- I have to lie down--"

Terezi makes a pouty little sound and pulls him back, off of you. "Do you need to stop?"

Karkat makes an indignant noise. "No, fuck no, I'm not done yet!"

You nearly splutter a laugh as you pull off. "Wanna go all night, huh?" You wipe your mouth and smirk up at him.

His bulge, which had been moving languidly in your mouth, twists so suddenly it nearly slaps you. "Th-think you can keep up?" he retorts.

"I know I can if I don't have to hold you up," Terezi says, and bucks her hips. Karkat keens and she giggles. "Now do you have any ideas what we're going to do with this deadweight?"

"Hey!"

"Lots of 'em." You give Karkat's thigh a sucking kiss and the indignance melts right off his face. "But yeah, I've got one in particular -- 13A?"

"Oh yessss, that's an excellent one!"

Karkat squirms. "What are you talking about?"

"Patience is a virtue, sweetcheeks." 

You grab someone's underwear and wipe off your neck and chest so you don't look quite so much like a massacre in progress before you help Terezi get Karkat off her lap and lying on top of you. He's indignant again at all of the troll-handling, right up until he's straddling your hips and you're brushing his hair out of his face. "Hey, gorgeous."

That leaves him speechless, so you grin over his shoulder at Terezi, who is kneeling between your legs. "How's the scenery back there?"

She rubs Karkat's ass and does something that makes him whine. "Perfect! Karkat, can I?"

"Yes, god, do it already-- AH!" Karkat's bulge thrashes against your dick. "Yes, oh, oh fuck--"

This is almost better than before, actually being able to see Terezi's face as she fucks Karkat -- and god she's fucking him, slamming into him hard and fast, every bit as desperate for him as she told you she was. Karkat gasps overwhelmed cries into your ear; you kiss his neck, stroke his hair, guide his bulge to wrap around your dick so you can stroke them together. 

The pressure in your groin builds and you're gasping moans of your own when Terezi's yelped cries spiral up, higher and sharper, until they're shrieks and she's bucking again Karkat frantically, pouring herself out into him. He writhes and moans, rocking as he pushes back against her, and then groans in frustration as she presses her hips one last time and stills.

"Mmmh, you're good," Terezi murmurs, squeezing his ass as she pulls out.

"I-- Mph." Karkat hides his face against your neck and mumbles, "I need more."

"Hey bro, I'm right here." You smack his ass and he twitches.

"And I think I need longer breaks than you do," Terezi says as she flops down beside you. "Besides, I want to watch."

Karkat's face heats against your neck. "Uh. Is that... okay?"

"D-dude." You wince at your voice cracking, but manage, "It's more than fucking okay."

"But I'm all, er, wet--"

You hiss a breath. "Stop overthinking things and get on my dick!"

Karkat pulls back sharply and stares at you, wide-eyed, before spluttering a laugh of his own. "Just can't wait a second longer to get into me, huh?"

"Fuck no, now hurry up," you say, a bit of a whine creeping into your voice. He smirks at you and slips his bulge free of your dick so he can shift forward. The look on his face says clear as anything he's going to try to tease you, the little bastard, but Terezi gets a smirk of her own as she sits up and reaches over to stroke your dick against Karkat's nook.

"Oh fuck," you both gasp simultaneously.

"Yes, that's what you should be doing," Terezi says agreeably. She leans forward and kisses Karkat's jaw. "Riding Dave is way better than those shitty shame sticks you've been alchemizing, you know."

You go hot and Karkat blushes furiously, which will never not be hot and amazing to you. Then again everything is hot right now, Terezi is still pumping you against Karkat's nook and it's driving you more than a little mad. "Come oooon," you whine.

"Fine, fine," Karkat grumbles. He starts sliding onto you, biting his lower lip in concentration as he does. You clench your jaw and force yourself to stay absolutely still -- this is torture, you want to thrust up into him, but the last thing you want to do is freak him out or, god forbid, hurt him -- but as he sinks down it looks like what he's feeling is the exact opposite of pain.

Karkat's eyes drift shut as he rocks his hips. "Oh. F-fuck. You're... god this is good..."

"You're telling me," you gasp. He's so warm, noticably warmer than Terezi, and so, so wet, and he keeps clenching around you, it's pure fucking heaven. You groan, long and loud, and Terezi chuckles.

"Good, isn't he?"

"Yes," you say at the same time Karkat does.

Terezi falls over in a burst of giggles. Karkat cracks an eye open to stare at you; you crack a grin at him and smooth your hands up his thighs. He smiles a little and rolls his hips again. "I-- nnh -- don't know what I'm doing--"

"We'll figure it out," you say, and arch up into him.

Karkat follows your lead and figures it out in seconds, rolling his hips like he was born to it. It's amazing -- he's amazing. The weight of him holding you down, how he moves, how he moans -- god he's loud, you halfway think the whole meteor can hear you fucking him, and you love it, you love how he's riding you like your dick is the best thing to ever happen to him. 

"Harder," he pleads, and you're more than happy to oblige, gripping his hips so you can fuck into him deep and fast. "Uhn, uhn, fuck me, fuck me harder, Dave, please--"

You're panting you're bucking up into him so hard. You're so fucking close to coming it hurts but you hold it back with everything you have because when Karkat begs you like that (and you'll never, ever admit this to anybody) you want more than anything to give it to him. Give it to him hard and fast until he screams again--

Terezi throws you a smile as she reaches over lazily and fists Karkat's bulge. He yelps, more out of surprise than anything, then dissolves into moans of "fuck, oh fuck" as she pumps him. 

You groan and dig your heels into the bed, buck into him harder as his moans turn to cries. "C-come on Karkat, give it to me--"

Karkat's nook clenches around your dick like a velvet vice grip of sex and he gives it to you, all right, quaking and wailing your name as he paints you with hot red. You fill your eyes with him, fill your mind with the scent and feel and sound of him, and it takes you, burns white-hot through you as you erupt.

You're dazed and limp as you come down, just as dazed and limp as Karkat looks to be. He's sitting slumped and gasping, one hand over his face, clearly overwhelmed, and you feel a surge of pity so hard you're surprised you don't turn bright red.

... Well, redder than you already are from the neck down, anyway. 

"You two are useless." Terezi sighs in mock-annoyance and mops you up. 

Karkat huffs; you grunt and let your eyes shut. "Hey, I worked hard, I'm allowed," you mumble.

"And we worked Karkat pretty hard too, so I guess he's allowed." There's a smack and an indignant yelp from Karkat. "Come on, off!"

You snicker at Karkat's fussy noise, but make one of your own as he tumbles off of you. You feel cold, and strangely bereft. You would have been happy to have stayed inside him, kissed him and petted him until you got hard again and could fuck him slow and sweet--

You yelp as Terezi applies a wet wipe to your dick. "If you don't like it then clean yourself up," she says tartly, then kisses you before you can sass her back.

Regardless of how limp and floppy you all are, you still manage to get more or less cleaned up and heaped together in a pile of happy exhaustion. Karkat is your little spoon, which he grumbled about until you kissed the nape of his neck and he trailed off, his fuss forgotten. He is also Terezi's little spoon; that caused him considerably less grumbling, probably because he's got a face full of her tits.

"So much for going all night," you say, cupping your hand over one of Karkat's tits.

Karkat presses back against you. "Keep that up and you'll be eating your words."

"Or he'll be eating your bulge again." Terezi smirks at you and ruffles your hair. "But I vote we rest and see what happens..." She trails off into a yawn.

"Sleep is gonna happen," you point out.

"Vote seconded," Karkat says sleepily.

"No stamina," you mutter, fighting back yawns of your own. "But I c'n tell when I'm overruled."

"Good," says Terezi, and smooths your hair.

But tired as you are, you still marvel at where you are and who you're with, you marvel at what just happened, you marvel at how... happy you are. Happy with Terezi is easy, but this nubby asshole?

"Hey, guys?" Karkat murmurs sleepily.

Terezi shifts. "Mm?"

"... Thanks. For this, but, well. For being you, too."

Terezi ohs and hugs him tight; you brush your lips against his skin and smile. "Thanks for being you, too."


End file.
